My life has me signing, sealing, and delivering this letter of resignation.

Resigning from everything I seem to feel is holding me back.

But I am horrible at learning how to let these things go.

I woke up on the complete wrong side of the bed today.
Happens almost everyday.

Finding happiness professionally has been more ideal than happiness personally these days.

How is it that life has reached such things.

I think it’s because I hold so much discomfort towards so many little things in this year.

This year has only just begun. And this year has an expectation from me to have it be better than the year that I even hate whispering the number of.

I hate whispering that number so much but love drowning myself in memories of it.

So much being that I decide to look at pictures of someone almost every day.
This someone now has and wants nothing to do with me.

I also am losing touch with anyone and everyone who meant everything.

Friends of mine said to be best friends are learning how to forget me and I can’t even fathom the thought of never knowing them.

Who knows where we’ll end up.

As hard as I am trying to move on I am still wondering.
I’ll play these what ifs til my death

Best frienemy

I am discovering I must be disillusioned by what I think my relationships and importance within my friendships are.
Not only within my relationships with men romantically but in every relationship I am finding I am nothing but a mere convenience.
Months from now will you remember me. Will you wonder how I am as I wonder how you are my friends. I wish you safe travels. And knowing how I am I will try to check up on you during them and hope for a response
Some days maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself. But when I really think about these things I realize it is so much more than that at times.
There is proof to make such things facts.
Truly I want nothing more for things to be the way they were. Why can I just not stomach that they will not be that.
Change has come and I have no welcoming still for it.
Please don’t think I am unhappy for the things you are all getting in your lives. I just wish I could be apart of those lives.
For now I will stick to my books and music that floods my ears.